So, What Do You Do With Your Toys?

Do you run around the garden going ‘bang-bang’?!

To think I used to find this question embarrassing. Pheh. But it is still a good question and requires answering. My response in my awkward adolescence was ‘no, of course not’. This however couldn’t be farther from the truth. The early years of high school were in fact the heyday of my toy love. Just as other children had thrown off their love for playthings and embraced first-team sport, cheap vodka and chicks, my fantasy world of heroic soldiers opposing international terrorism was at its zenith. But I was not alone. Oh no, for if I had to go it alone, I would probably have stopped playing a long time ago, relegating my collection to just that – collecting. But that’s no fun and toys are meant to be played with. I am so grateful to have had two buddies who were in it with me from the early years.

The earliest years take place before the Vodka, rugby, chick stage. Back when it was totally acceptable to run around the garden going ‘bang-bang’. In those days there were only two types of figures – Ninja Force... and cannon fodder. I remember my play pattern with my childhood friend Lyle was typically the Ninja Force vs Everyone Else. And of course the Ninja Force would simply slay everyone and everything until a showdown with... the Cobra Ninja Force of course. And we played this scenario many times.

Next, with my collection of vehicles on the rise, now including the Bugg, Hammerhead and Warthog, my friends (who were brothers), Justin and Wesley and I would each select a vehicle and man it with figures and wage a three-way war with each other. There was a distinct pecking order and so the outcomes never changed. I was the eldest and always won in the end, and Justin would always demolish his younger brother’s forces.

In the late nineties, my collection was still in its infancy. I was getting a little older and more sophisticated though and needed to invest more thought in the characters of the figures I was playing with, instead of just regarding them as nameless, faceless toy soldiers. This was especially crucial as my friends (the last few holders of the toy-torch) and I had our clear favourites when it came to the figures. The ebay explosion was not yet in full swing and I was not filling out the rosters with the more popular figures yet. The characters I owned were all bought from good old brick and mortar stores. But in spite of not having a 1985 Snake-Eyes or ’83 Duke, our favourites were picked based purely on sculpt and not media appearances. To be honest, I only had one episode of the G.I. Joe cartoon on a very scratchy tape, and a handful of torn-up comics, so my grasp of G.I. Joe was purely from word of mouth on the playground and the character biogs on the backs of the packages. But I could extrapolate the tidbits of info in these two-paragraph dossiers into a full backstory if need be, and that was the fun of it really. I used  to have an imagination.

So who did my friends and I play with? Scratch that, we didn’t play. This was not playing. We now referred to it as ‘gaming’. But anyway, I digress. Who were our principle characters? My ex-cousin (long story) was an American and brought a figure from the States for me that I never saw released locally. He was a repainted figure used for the initial line of Sonic Fighters in 1990, and I think his colour scheme in this release was far superior to the original. It just looked more military I guess. The figure is none other than Law! And this figure was used by my pal, Al. Though for some reason he insisted that Law be renamed ‘M.P. Man’. I guess Al always took game time with a pinch of salt. But he loved causing mayhem with automatic weapons and grenades.

My other buddy, Rob, had a handful of Joes of his own and better than incurring my wrath over a broken or lost toy, he would stick with his own. This limited his selection even further and so I imagine his choice was motivated by nostalgia. He would typically take up his old friend, his ‘Sheriff Woody’ – 1989’s Scoop. Yeah, a communications expert. And one that came packaged with a camera. Not exactly the commando type. But therein lay the beauty of imagination. And with Scoop in tow we would always find room for a surveillance element to the mission. Rob had lost the included pistol some time ago, but he typically equipped Scoop with a replacement pistol for old time’s sake.

For me, It was a toss up at first. The figure to emerge from my childhood in the most pristine condition was 1986’s Mainframe. It stands to reason – he had no included weapon, just a computer and a communications backpack. But in the later years of toy collecting, his minty condition, speciality and the detail of his sculpt and paint job made him a premier figure. He was surpassed shortly afterwards by a figure who also was largely overlooked in my early, ‘Ninja Force’ days. But I distinctly remember my elder brother telling me way back then that ‘this guy looks cool’. I Didn’t think much of him though. He was blue and to a six-year old, that seemed like a silly colour for a soldier. Can you guess who yet? It’s Shockwave! A character who was re-released into the 25^th anniversary ahead of much more noteworthy characters simply because of the strength of the original’s sculpt. Yeah, that figure became my number one commando badass dude. And I loved that figure to death.

Old Comrades reunited: Shockwave, M.P. Man and Scoop... A.K.A Me, Al and Rob.

To answer my opening line of questioning, what do I do with my toys? I wish I could run around the garden and go bang-bang. I wish I could spin the dial back to a simpler time and play. Or game. But I need my friends. And that is a nigh-impossible task. Life so often intervenes. Al lives in another town, and in any case most likely has finally outgrown them. Rob and I often try, but never have enough time to really get some momentum. Typically all we have time for is to start a mission before we need to call it a night. And then it's a matter of weeks before we can reconvene. But hey, I love it. some of my happiest times come from mucking around with my Joes and Cobras. It leaves no carbon footprint, needs no television or computer, gas or electricity. Just imagination and a taste for adventure.

I am so ridiculous.