Cobra HISS II

Cobra HISS. Two words that should have no logical connection to an armored fighting vehicle. But to a fan of GI Joe, these words should spark images of an angular, black, tracked vehicle. The HI-Speed Sentry was Cobra's first entry into the ground vehicle category. It had a solid helping of armor, firepower, mobility, versatility and capacity. It also had an iconic look that entrenched Cobra's flair for the unconventional. As a solid workhorse of the Cobra arsenal, it served with distinction in every major medium. But there was of course room for improvement and six years after the first HISS tank saw combat, the second generation of HISS tanks arrived.


The HISS II is beefed up in every regard. Where the original was piloted by a single operator, it's successor seated two. The cannons were enlarged and a third barrel added. Additional weapons such as coaxial machine guns and missiles were added, as was a rear hatch with capacity for four troops. All welcome changes that continue the legacy and adding to the versatility and capabilities of the HISS. All changes for the good. But here's the rub. The colour. Opting to ditch the original black in favor of a blue-grey, we have red accents in the form of the canopy and weapons. Basically we see the seeds of the poor toy coloring choices that dominated the nineties. Toxic Crusaders anyone?


Colors aside, other oddities to this design are the fact that the pilot egress is via a lowering 'jaw', for lack of a better word. It's a bit finicky in toy form. In reality I can only imagine it's a maintenance nightmare. The pilot seats are pretty spartan, but then again, Track Vipers look more like robots than humans. How a human head fits into that helmet I will never know.

 The tank has teeny tiny (red: why?) roller wheels and not the functioning treads reserved only for the zenith of Joe armor - the MOBAT, Mauler and Patriot Grizzy. Okay, not the last one. But bizarrely if you take the rollers away the universal joint between the treads doesn't clear the ground!

Silliness! And if you are cruising thru moderately long grass, forget about the missiles. They ride so low that they snag everything. With two crew up front, the tank has a tendency to be front-heavy and can flop forward. The barrels of the gun are quizzical in a number of ways. How are they loaded, where is the ammunition stored? The gun mold is hollow and as you tilt the guns up, you get a big ugly eyeful.

But the guns do have a pretty solid range of movement and look like they could do some damage. In addition to the standard armament, the crew portion has slits side and read to poke rifles through if the opportunity should arise to ward off infantry. The rollers move well, while I do always prefer functioning treads, they never give as good a roll as the lil' wheel approach, so the compromise brings advantages. The tailgate mechanism can be a little finickity as it drops and slides out, but I praise it for allowing one to access the troop section simply without, say, something as phony as the roof splitting for instance. And it is vital that you access the troop section. Placing figures in their cramped seats would be nigh-impossible otherwise. In a nod to the original there are footpegs on the tailgate, but it would be in those troops' best interests to disembark before the gate drops on their shins.

 So in closing, what are my thoughts on the HISS II? In every respect an improvement on the original. It retains the Cobra eccentricity, adds new capabilities and yet is not dramatically larger. Aside from the red, I'm fond of the colouring, as I say, my only criticism is it being out of place next to the other Cobra vehicles. But then again, for every HISS, Stun or Ferret, there's a Maggot or Rage. You are not spoiled for choice when it comes to Conra armor, but you can do no better than the HISS II.