Whoo boy, I gotta get this all down while I still have all this booze, adrenaline and blind rage in me. I was on eBay tonight.
But then again, I'm on eBay every night. Every day. All the time. It's a sickness I've developed.
I have also developed certain beliefs in ways to corner better deals.
First, buy local. If ever I am in the northern hemisphere for work or play, having items shipped to me there is a great way to save on postage. Also if the auction does not allow for international shipping, it's a great way to cut down competition. For example, a seller in the UK who only ships to the UK will spare you all the competing Yanks.
Second, search general. You'll get fewer competing bids on misnamed or poorly categorized items.
Third. Snipe like a motherfucker. That means, don't bid early. In the age of high speed internet when you can literally watch the seconds tick off that timer in real time, why bid before the final ten seconds? I became an eBay user (eBuser?) in the age of dial up. Meaning you'd dial up once to bid the day before and once again to check if you won or not. Sniping involves going in fast, going in once, and going in big. Yeah. You heard right.
For a week I have watched an auction. It was located in the UK. It was available only to buyers in the UK. It was poorly named. I was gonna snipe it like a motherfucker. It was Tiger Force Outback and it was love.
So I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. I went to sleep most nights that week looking at that figure. I woke up most mornings and the first thing I looked at was the auction. It only had this to compete with.
So did I win? Are you expecting a tale of sadness and heartbreak? Did I win?
Yes. Of course I won. I'm a master sniper with more experience than sense... if that makes any sense. I went in with an initial limit of 16 quid.
Within the last ten seconds I was outbid. Crushing.
I countered by putting in a competing bid of a whopping 22.50 Pound Sterling. And at the closing bell I was the leading bidder at £21. Stoke.
It was no longer a bargain bin price, but I didn't care. The sweet syrup of victory was pouring out of my ears. Just ask my girlfriend. She was napping in my lap at the time and got syruped. To combat my morning-after, inevitable buyers remorse, I Paypal-ed my payment immediately. Haggered, 25 Pound poorer, but virtuously virtually victorious, I retired to the last half of a Man United/Liverpool game (since when do I actually watch football?)
But before I could shake off my rushing post-bid emotions, I received this:
I swear, not even 20 minutes before the close of auction this shit-for-brains had refunded my money and shunted my prize off to the runner-up. Didn't think to contact me first about the 'confusion'. Rather just cut me out of the loop completely, the fuckwit. Then, try to convince me it was my fault for not contacting the seller up front about where the item should be sent to, when in actual fact my default address has been in the United Kingdom for over two months! I have had eight parcels sent there over the last two months with no confusion. No additional communication to clarify. Nada. So this D-bag unilaterally decides to cancel my righteous victory? You know what I say to that?
And you best believe this pimple on the face of humanity had 100% positive feedback before she crossed me.
Rant done.
But then again, I'm on eBay every night. Every day. All the time. It's a sickness I've developed.
I have also developed certain beliefs in ways to corner better deals.
First, buy local. If ever I am in the northern hemisphere for work or play, having items shipped to me there is a great way to save on postage. Also if the auction does not allow for international shipping, it's a great way to cut down competition. For example, a seller in the UK who only ships to the UK will spare you all the competing Yanks.
Second, search general. You'll get fewer competing bids on misnamed or poorly categorized items.
Third. Snipe like a motherfucker. That means, don't bid early. In the age of high speed internet when you can literally watch the seconds tick off that timer in real time, why bid before the final ten seconds? I became an eBay user (eBuser?) in the age of dial up. Meaning you'd dial up once to bid the day before and once again to check if you won or not. Sniping involves going in fast, going in once, and going in big. Yeah. You heard right.
For a week I have watched an auction. It was located in the UK. It was available only to buyers in the UK. It was poorly named. I was gonna snipe it like a motherfucker. It was Tiger Force Outback and it was love.
So I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. I went to sleep most nights that week looking at that figure. I woke up most mornings and the first thing I looked at was the auction. It only had this to compete with.
So did I win? Are you expecting a tale of sadness and heartbreak? Did I win?
Yes. Of course I won. I'm a master sniper with more experience than sense... if that makes any sense. I went in with an initial limit of 16 quid.
Within the last ten seconds I was outbid. Crushing.
I countered by putting in a competing bid of a whopping 22.50 Pound Sterling. And at the closing bell I was the leading bidder at £21. Stoke.
It was no longer a bargain bin price, but I didn't care. The sweet syrup of victory was pouring out of my ears. Just ask my girlfriend. She was napping in my lap at the time and got syruped. To combat my morning-after, inevitable buyers remorse, I Paypal-ed my payment immediately. Haggered, 25 Pound poorer, but virtuously virtually victorious, I retired to the last half of a Man United/Liverpool game (since when do I actually watch football?)
But before I could shake off my rushing post-bid emotions, I received this:
I swear, not even 20 minutes before the close of auction this shit-for-brains had refunded my money and shunted my prize off to the runner-up. Didn't think to contact me first about the 'confusion'. Rather just cut me out of the loop completely, the fuckwit. Then, try to convince me it was my fault for not contacting the seller up front about where the item should be sent to, when in actual fact my default address has been in the United Kingdom for over two months! I have had eight parcels sent there over the last two months with no confusion. No additional communication to clarify. Nada. So this D-bag unilaterally decides to cancel my righteous victory? You know what I say to that?
And you best believe this pimple on the face of humanity had 100% positive feedback before she crossed me.
Rant done.
