Hammerhead

How awesome would it be if I put a gas engine in this puppy? Very.

Not even two years after the Bugg saw release, Hasbro cooked up another amphibious craft with overlapping abilities. What does it do better than it's predecessor? What does it do worse? Which would I prefer to be behind the controls of? Read on, dear friends.

"Cobra Island is surrounded by open beaches which are at the very least, hostile environments for tanks of any sort. The Hammerhead was specifically developed to function in shallow coastal waters, sand and scrub vegetation. Sacrificing heavy armour protection for speed and agility, the Hammerhead requires a driver with lightning fast reflexes and exceptional peripheral vision"

-courtesy of the 'Decimator' filecard, which then segues nicely into a description of ol' Decimator and his spiffy helmet, which incidentally resembles a Hammerhead shark's head. On a side note, I like the fact that the filecard is very hardware-orientated. Vehicle operators in the Joe line were always 3rd or 4th tier characters. Few people would list a vehicle driver as one of their top fives, except perhaps Wild Bill. As a result, I would far prefer their filecards to have maximum content on the vehicle, and less on the driver's personality. Hasbro finally gave us both with their run of 25th anniversary vehicle re-issues, which had a filecard for both the driver and the vehicle. But if I had to choose, I'd take info about the vehicle over info about the guy behind the wheel and how he held a record for traffic fines or a penchant for being lucky. Wank.

So like the Bugg, the Hammerhead's primary occupation is to maintain security around Cobra Island's coast. Like the Bugg, it can deploy scout craft to help it facilitate this function. But while the Bugg had a two man pod that detached and two jetskis that could be pulled out of storage, the Hammerhead can deploy five smaller watercraft, one of which apparently can also fly. That gimmick is getting old, fast.

So the Hammerhead drives out of its holding area, hits the surf, submerges and then launches two 'sea net penetrating, low noise attack sub[s]', two 'surface skimming, diversionary sea sled scout craft' and one 'airborne/undersea command module with pivoting radar unit'. These craft essentially split the Hammerhead six ways (five detachable craft and the remaining wheeled-vehicle) and thereby increase the amount of coast any one Hammerhead can police. But they are not without a few drawbacks. The Hammerhead has to drive into the surf to deploy them, unless all of them can 'fly' from the beach into the water. How then does the Hammerhead wheeled vehicle return to the beach? The only propulsion I could detect on the craft was in the form of the attack subs mounted on either side. Once they go, does the Hammerhead 'drive' along the sea floor back to shore? Does it sit there and wait? Does it emerge and the pilot deploy an outboard? Or row? 

Having everything then re-attach is also problematic and probably time consuming as vehicles jostle into very specific places in varying and often difficult visibilities underwater. 

What are the pro's of this badboy? Big tyres with high clearance. Great fun for skidding around on a sandy beach.

It carries a decent amount of ordinance, even if they are all small and lumo green. It dawned on me that I've had this vehicle in my collection for almost 20 years and not lost a single one of her 22 projectiles. So don't knock the colour choice! 14 torpedoes spread over the detachable vehicle fleet, two surface to surface missiles mounted on the white subs in spring-loaded launchers and four missiles that are held in an elevating  housing beneath the black command sub. I like to think of those as surface to air missiles, giving the Hammerhead a bit more bite. Also, if they can be launched from a submerged position, the Hammerhead would have a very effective element of surprise over attacking aircraft.

The weapons that puzzle me are the two 'twin bow laser cannons'. They are fixed zero degrees forward but can pivot up and down. So the driver can pick off targets above or below the bow, but only when they are directly in the path of the vehicle. Rather limited use there.

The hull of the wheeled vehicle is grey and has flares in front that emulate a hammerhead shark. It serves no purpose I can think of but it does give the vehicle a unique look. I do like width it gives the craft, which then flows into the subs. The Cobra sigils on the hull and detachable craft have a hammerhead shark swimming through it, which is a nifty tradition I'm glad the Hammerhead continues. I wished the Bugg had a similar gimmick. The Hammerhead also can deploy a diver or pick one up using a decompression chamber located aft of the missile silo. It's pretty cramped but can adequately hold one man standing. I wish the cavity was expanded on, as there is a little more space aft of the chamber which I can only imagine is unused. It would be nice if the diver could access this area. It even has molded hatches, but they a) go nowhere; and b) are the wrong way around. The small maintenance hatch leads aft. And a large, man-sized door leads to the missile silo. Boo.

The glass canopies are lumo green, which I think has a nice aesthetic contrast with the subdued greys, blacks and off-whites and all of the driver positions on all the vehicles have good visibility (for fantastical Cobra vehicles) certainly better than the Bugg. And the Decimator driver's helmet makes full use of the bubble canopies. It gives the wearer a 180 degree view at all times in almost complete darkness. This allows the Decimator to keep his eyes on a target at all times while speeding around on the beach. Too bad his guns can't be aimed at anything on the Hammerhead's flanks.

So which is the preferred vehicle? Bugg or Hammerhead? Both have nostalgia factors in their favour. For the Hammerhead, I was fortunate enough to be let loose on Hamley's toyshop in London at the age of eight and grabbed the biggest box I could throw my eight year old arms around. The flight from London to Cape Town was spent constructing the various craft and I was loving it. As soon as I got home, my best mate stopped over, we finished off the decal placement and his envy was apparent. I remember it was raining that day. So I have no historical bias. But I'd have to go with the Bugg. I don't like the fact that the Hammerhead is just a massive collection of smaller vehicles. I acknowledge the fun - I acknowledged it all my youth as they all swooped through the skies as aircraft. But the split apart feature hurts the remainder's weaponry and its function (how does it move through the water without the subs?). The individual vehicles are rather cheapish shells with few parts and not a great deal going for them, I have difficulty accepting how they dock with the main vehicle, the laser cannons on the main vehicle have no rotation to engage anything other than targets in front...

But it's helluva lot more fun to race along the beach. I do love those big six wheels. Just make sure you deploy the subs first, or some tight turns will shake 'em loose. 

Muizenberg beach on a Sunday

Apart from riding some lekker waves and going for a run with my old man, I dragged my Hammerhead out for some maneuvers. Article to follow. 

Bugg

Okay, time to take a look at a piece that some may regard as obscure, but certainly less than the Sea Ray I looked at a little time ago. And it's one of my buddy's faves, so Paul, this one's for you.

Pack shot with the European box. Bought this baby at a CNA in '93. R199.98.

Yes, the Cobra Bugg. Mr Ultimate Guide, Mark Bellomo says on page 119 of his initial Joe book that '[t]he Cobra Bugg is a fascinating vehicle, and one of my favorite Cobra toys.' It appears you are not alone, Paul.

I've seen it said of this vehicle (and I'm quoting from memory as these reviews can no longer be found on the 'net for love or money) 'The Bugg looks like something half finished and facing the wrong direction.' This statement has some truth. When I first started putting mine together (yes kids, vehicles used to be sold unassembled) I thought the front was the back and vice versa. But I was eight years-old and I was building in the dark at five am on Christmas morning, some slack, please. I was also discovered and told to go back to sleep which was impossible at that point. I had been fantasizing about this vehicle all week leading up to the big day. And having now even put a bit of it together, there was no chance in hell I was going to crack a few more hours of sleep. But  after an agonising wait, I was able to complete my Bugg construction and apply the decals (which I got almost right but I refuse to correct them out of nostalgia.)

So, now that you've indulged me on my trip down memory lane, lets talk about the Bugg. What the hell is it? Why is it called 'Bugg'? What is up with the colour scheme?

• The hard sell on the box proclaims that '[t]he swamp around Cobra Island heats up with battle action as the Cobra Bugg repels a G.I. Joe commando raid!'.
• The pilot, Secto Viper's filecard tells us that they are experts in amphibious operations, marine surveillance, shoreline topology and the strengths and weaknesses of all other amphibious landing craft currently used by the armed forces of the world. 

 So it's an amphibious craft, designed for the defence of Cobra Island from amphibious landing and assault. And for this purpose it is quite adequately designed and armed. I assume it's typical operation would be to drive around patrolling the beach or get sneaky by ducking under the surf. It would also be able to operate in shallower, landward waters like rivers and lakes. It can operate like a submarine to a degree thanks to its two gas turbine underwater propulsion units which drive it though the water at a decent pace. One can only assume that they are responsible for steering the craft by applying thrust on the right turbine for a left turn and vice versa. Descent and ascent are handled by the air tank purge ventilators on the hull behind the turbines. 

It is armed with a total of no less than eight .50 calibre machine guns - two single guns on top of the bow, a double gun atop the stern and two double guns underneath the bow. Between them, the craft has excellent coverage of all angles of fire, though I have some question about how they are coordinated which I will get to later. It carries two 'Strike' VT-60 torpedoes and four 'Forked-Tongue' surface-to-air missiles, though the European box confuses the two. I'm gonna go with the blueprints. The Bugg houses two jet-skis beneath the central yellow hatches and those have a pair of projectiles each that are ignored by the box and blueprints. I used to think they were rockets, but given the proximity to the water, I'm going to change my answer to torpedoes. I don't think it likely a rocket would fly straight and true through choppy seas.

Turbine nacelle with a torpedo on the bottom, SAM on side and an Eel on top. Deadly. Suicidal. Cobra! Purge valve is likely behind the slats below the yellow hatch. 

Door mounted SAMs, the hatch storage for the jet/hoverski, and an Eel  riding the other one.

So it's armed to attack ships, landing craft, infantry and even aircraft from a shore or waterborne position. As a surveillance craft it also has a few options. It has a detachable 'hovercraft/submarine pod' which is depicted as being able to fly in the commercial, though I can't figure out how. I guess like the Trubble Bubble, it's best to just accept that it can. More fun that way. And if it was just a submersible its only armament -the dual 'short-throw' .50 calibre machine guns, would have zero use.

Secto Viper. A bootlicking shit who scores points with superiors by busting Cobra personnel who hang out and tan on the beach. And also a sharp dresser with a distinct bumblebee theme and a... goldfish bowl helmet.

Wheeee!

The jetskis would also be able to increase the area being surveilled, but not by much as I doubt they have a great deal of range. Also they are rather small and would topple easily in rougher seas. They too however have been depicted on the box and European catalogue picture as being able to hover on land, so maybe they hover over the surface of the water like Marty's hoverboard in Back To The Future Part II. Interesting to note that a figure can wear the jetski like a backpack, perhaps it was designed to be submersible and power a diver through the water? One may also reason it is like a jetpack, if so, this is one fantastically multi-purpose piece, and also a strain on plausibility.

Most opinions of the Bugg I have encountered find the colour choice odd. I my opinion it works. Neon yellow is an odd choice for a jet intake (see the Phantom X-19, also released in 1988), but for a submersible it works. I think of those expeditionary civilian subs, all decked out in a bright yellow, which also have bulbous canopies for optimal vision. While it might not be the wisest choice for concealment, I doubt there are many who could get the jump on a Bugg given it's abilities. You'd have to be airborne with very good daylight visibility to see a submerged Bugg in the first place. And if you can see a Bugg from the sky in good vis, you better believe the guy sitting in weapons control can see you and is tracking you with a 'Forked Tongue' SAM. Tickets. Also, this is Cobra. There is something undeniably ostentatious about their vehicle designs and colourings. Purple helicopters, white battle armour, ...Trubble Bubbles, need I say more? Armies of the world are sensible and drab, Cobra craft are decked out like First World War fighter aces.

Now for a few criticisms... Starting with something that confuses me. The dual .50 in the rear is clearly operated by the guy standing in the turret. The guns at the bottom of the detachable hovercraft/submarine pod are controlled by the pod co-pilot. One can assume the driver controls the other lower dual guns. Who coordinates the two single top turrets? If it's the guy in the turret, he has some serious blindspots to deal with, including zero degrees forward. Perhaps target acquisition is handled by a central computer that can recognise friend or foe. One can only assume this is the case as to share control of these weapons with the guys up front with the better view can't be a good idea. Sharing who gets to control a big gun is never a good idea. So one guy controls the linked and independent operation of three weapons. Stress!

Next, the SAMs. They are all oriented facing zero forward, which would be fine if this were a fighter jet and could line up the shot along the target's six o'clock. But she is a terrestrial craft, and these missiles need elevation to fire effectively. Maybe I'll mod my Bugg to do this someday. I assume you can launch the missiles from a submerged position, akin to submarine launched ballistic missiles. I do wish she had more than two torpedoes, but if you deploy a Bugg and Hammerhead together, the Hammerhead will have that covered with her 14 (!) torpedoes. Even better when you bring some amphibious air support in the form of the Sea Ray along for the ride.

The Bugg is an amphibious assault craft, but it would have so easily been converted to an amphibious personnel carrier. I really could have done away with the jetski/hoverski/jetpack things. After all, they are basically single stamp, two pieces of maroon plastic and feel a bit cheap. Four troops could have easily occupied that space, and when combined with the two men in the back behind the gunner, you have the same troop compliment as a Warthog but with far more firepower. Sad missed opportunity there.

The troop compliment of the Bugg. In the background: the hardest working weapon control officer  in the Cobra navy.

The front bottom guns at first always seemed odd and useless to me. But the more I think about it, the more I like the idea that the driver and the folks in the detachable sub to be able to squirt some rounds off at closer targets. Even if you hit the dirt, the Bugg will weed you out of cover. The problem is that they reduce the clearance of the Bugg hopelessly so that they snag on anything but the most level terrain. Those weapons would become jammed immediately and would require constant maintenance. In all areas I prefer this toy to the Hammerhead, except in this regard. The Hammerhead has excellent clearance with big tyres that love bumps and jumps; the Bugg will bury its low-slung nose in the smallest sand dune.

Yeah, better stay on the road with that kind of clearance. And keep it under 20km/h. Absurd.

 Last question to answer and then I can take some pictures: why is it called Bugg. Oops, I mean BUGG, tho it's not an acronym for anything, actually. The cool feature of vehicle-specific Cobra sigil designs is absent here. But one doesn't have to look too hard to see the bug imagery. The sloped back end resembles a bug's sloped carapace, folded over the abdomen. Egh, whatever, it's late, I've had a hell of a day, I'm gonna go and mess with my Bugg. Later.

Flagg By Night

If you own or have scrutinized pictures of the U.S.S Flagg, you may realise that it  doesn't have much of a hull. Using my limited carpentry skills I shaped a wooden board to match the hull, raised the hull on wooden 'walls', painted it and put the whole thing on trolley wheels. I cut some doorways into the walls and painted it all grey. Last move was to put some LEDs into the new chambers and the island to give light in otherwise impossibly dark sections. I give you some pics on the result. Big thanks to my buddy Al for his help with wiring it up. I am pretty rubbish and he got it done in one attempt where I would have probably taken five and a few grey hairs.

The Island. The chambers with computers are well lit. The arb chambers, not so much

The bridge with Cutter and Keel Haul. So far only one of the LED lights have died. And  I'm open to suggestions on how  to mask that wire...

Long Range on weapons' control

Briefing center with Hawk, Wild Bill, Beach Head, Low Light, Sci-Fi, Leatherneck, Airborne, Windmill, Countdown, Ace and Lift Ticket. An explanation for that combo of personnel wins a prize!  

Enlisted personnel quarters

Amphibious vehicle bay with SHARCs and Warthog

Skystorm (a personal favourite) in maintenance bay

The Sun Is Shining

It's early Autumn in the Cape of Good Hope. The average temperatures are high twenties, low thirties and I spend a fair amount of time mucking around by the pool, accompanied by some sort of aquatic craft. I realise I could use my time to review anything... But I'd rather do a lesser-appreciated gem than tackle a W.H.A.L.E or Moray, Bugg or Hammerhead. Why? Well the interweb is bursting with info and discussion of clear fan favorites and I would for the most part be wasting my time covering how cool they are, where you can find info like that pretty much anywhere else. So I choose you... the Cobra Sea Ray! It's fantastic... if for no other reason than neither it nor its pilot Sea Slug are abbreviations of anything. It's such a drag punctuating upper case with little dots.

Same Shot as the S.H.A.R.C article, I know. But it's a goodie, especially with that shadow...

So the Sea Ray. What is it? The package touts it as 'A formidable flying nemesis for Cobra! It's a highly-armed attack craft that quickly disengages to become a submarine and glider wing!'

Okay. This establishes that like the 1984 G.I. Joe S.H.A.R.C, it is a flying submarine. And like its Joe counterpart, it lacks conventional landing gear and must therefore hydroplane on the surface of the water for take-off and landing. Like the S.H.A.R.C it has a central removable engine panel with a well detailed engine beneath.

The mark of a quality toy: A panel pops off to reveal a detailed engine sculpt. Unnecessary perhaps, but soo classy.

 Fortunately the Sea Ray's pilot sits upright instead of lying on his belly and that lends a bit more credibility to the craft's aerial capabilities. I'm not sure how easily one would pilot an aircraft lying down. The split apart feature is another distinction the Sea Ray has, though I would rather ignore it. The 'Glider Wing' isn't really a glider at all, but more of a giant jet pack.

Bears more than a passing resemblance to the C.L.A.W, though no sensibilities such as landing gear...

It is indicated on the blueprints to be jet-propelled with its 'Thruster 26 000 lb Turbojet Engine'. Which is 1000 lb of thrust more than the F-15 Eagle powerplant produces in afterburn. Which according to the Sea Ray blueprints is capable of mach 2. Not sure how I feel about this airframe breaking the sound barrier... twice but hey, Cobra's on the cutting edge right? I suppose it may need a big kick to blast it out of the water and into the air. It also says something about the Sea Ray pilot, Sea Slug,  who mans the glider by sandwiching himself between the jet exhaust nozzles.   

The front end becomes a dedicated sub, leaving the thrusters behind and bearing more than a passing resemblance to Sly Rax' BARRICUDA from the M.A.S.K toys.

I wasn't responsible for the upside-down decal, okay. Bought it second hand like any other  latter-day Joefan.

The problem with the splitting feature is that both halves become greatly impoverished in the split. The hanglider loses the cannons and the sub loses the bulk of its missiles. And how would the two then re-unite? Not in a rush, I will wager, as the hang glider pilot would be crushed. So for the remainder of this review I will treat the Sea Ray as one, flying-submersible whole.

I'd say this craft is designed as a coastal waterway attack vehicle, using its submarine stealth to stalk a target before launching out of the water and swooping down to deal some death from above. For this task, it is well equipped. It is armed with 8 air-to-surface missiles and two 30 mm sealed combustion cannons. Interesting to note that they work on combustion (apparently) so that must mean the ammunition is fired using pressure created by hot expanding gases. Perhaps this allows the Sea Ray to fire from an underwater position? Not practical however as even from the shallows the muzzle velocity and accuracy would be drastically reduced. But at least it has some weapon to ward off pesky Joe frogmen. And the fact that the cannons swivel up and down means that this craft can fire from a shallow seat upwards at ship hulls and shore-based targets.

The Sea Slug file card also offers us insight into the tech that make the Sea Ray effective in its role. Apparently the Ray '...is coated with a rubberized damper that sends back an extremely indistinct 'bounce' on all known SONARs. It is also equipped with a noise generator that can mimic the sounds produced by a humped-back whale. It has almost no heat signature and sits low in the water when on the surface.' So, safe to assume this badboy is pretty hard to spot... until it's too late. Which is the way it should be as the Ray looks incapable of withstanding any punishment at all.

 So Sea Rays are deployed to coastal regions, sea and possibly lakes and navigable rivers, sneak up on their prey, launch out of the water and then...? Well may I just point out that as an aircraft, the Sea Ray can't be too maneuverable. Has no vertical stabilizer (tailfin), no ailerons, elevators or any control surfaces that I can see. Its ordinance is carried on top of the wings. Its wings are stubby and thick. Perhaps all that thrust it packs is used to keep the craft in a Harrier-like hover? Its nozzles do look to be directional. But this opens the door to a fuel problem which is often best ignored in a realm of vehicles that are all performance, minimal capacity (S.H.A.R.C, Sky Hawk, Firebat - to name a few).

Apart from sneak-and-shoot type missions, I reckon you would want a couple of Sea Rays to function as close air support for a Hammerhead or Bugg formation. Extremely close air support in fact, as this aircraft can stay with you as you disappear beneath the waves even.

So what is it lacking? Answer: an air-to-air, and sub-to-sub capability. All its missiles are air-to-surface and so there is no versatility in what the Sea Ray attacks (ground vehicles and ships) and how the Sea Ray attacks (by launching into the sky). It could engage targets like helicopters with its guns I suppose, but it would be hard pressed to take out say, anything faster than a Sky Hawk. It is seriously lacking an underwater weapon such as a torpedo or two. If a S.H.A.R.C happened upon one of these craft, it would have two shots at torpedoing it, to which the Ray would have no reply except to rocket out of the water and hope the S.H.A.R.C doesn't evade by sinking deeper. Also, if it steers using thrust, I suppose that means it can go very fast in a straight line but would then lose speed dramatically when required to maneuver. This would be solved  if it had control surfaces on its wings. But alas, not for the Sea Ray. I also wished it had conventional landing gear as that would improve its versatility, being able to launch and land at inland bases. Nevertheless, I have found a use for it, especially when paired with a submersible vehicle like the Hammerhead which can deploy no less than 14 torpedoes but only two surface-to-surface missiles.

Something must be said about the Sea Slug troops. They are chosen from the EEL ranks to pilot the Sea Ray. That tells me that this is a marine craft first and an aircraft second or an Air Viper would be a more logical selection. They are purple with some flair that steps outside of the 'Modern Army Action Figure' realm and into the realm of the Supervillain.

He traded in his Eel outfit for that?

 He has wraparound red... feelers (?) on his helmet that make him look like a contender for the name 'Mothman', or at least a henchman to a feller named Mothman. He has short sleeves and enormous muscles, weirdly ornamented shin-guards and comes with what looks like a silver raygun. the Sea Ray vehicle logo is tampographed onto his enormously muscular chest. I think this figure is best summed up as a reject Flash Gordon baddie. I guess you might easily imagine him as a denizen of Cobra-La, though why you would want to is beyond me. At least the cockpit of the Sea Ray is roomy enough to accommodate most other figures, including modern era-style, and a Defence of Cobra Island Lampreys looks very appropriate manning the Sea Ray if I do say so myself.

One oddity before I go. The underside of the sub-portion of the Ray has a backplug for a ARAH figure to hitch a ride, akin to the S.H.A.R.C. Not sure you'd want to be attached when it took off. Definitely sure you don't want to be attached to the underside when it lands. Ouch.

So, What Do You Do With Your Toys?

Do you run around the garden going ‘bang-bang’?!

To think I used to find this question embarrassing. Pheh. But it is still a good question and requires answering. My response in my awkward adolescence was ‘no, of course not’. This however couldn’t be farther from the truth. The early years of high school were in fact the heyday of my toy love. Just as other children had thrown off their love for playthings and embraced first-team sport, cheap vodka and chicks, my fantasy world of heroic soldiers opposing international terrorism was at its zenith. But I was not alone. Oh no, for if I had to go it alone, I would probably have stopped playing a long time ago, relegating my collection to just that – collecting. But that’s no fun and toys are meant to be played with. I am so grateful to have had two buddies who were in it with me from the early years.

The earliest years take place before the Vodka, rugby, chick stage. Back when it was totally acceptable to run around the garden going ‘bang-bang’. In those days there were only two types of figures – Ninja Force... and cannon fodder. I remember my play pattern with my childhood friend Lyle was typically the Ninja Force vs Everyone Else. And of course the Ninja Force would simply slay everyone and everything until a showdown with... the Cobra Ninja Force of course. And we played this scenario many times.

Next, with my collection of vehicles on the rise, now including the Bugg, Hammerhead and Warthog, my friends (who were brothers), Justin and Wesley and I would each select a vehicle and man it with figures and wage a three-way war with each other. There was a distinct pecking order and so the outcomes never changed. I was the eldest and always won in the end, and Justin would always demolish his younger brother’s forces.

In the late nineties, my collection was still in its infancy. I was getting a little older and more sophisticated though and needed to invest more thought in the characters of the figures I was playing with, instead of just regarding them as nameless, faceless toy soldiers. This was especially crucial as my friends (the last few holders of the toy-torch) and I had our clear favourites when it came to the figures. The ebay explosion was not yet in full swing and I was not filling out the rosters with the more popular figures yet. The characters I owned were all bought from good old brick and mortar stores. But in spite of not having a 1985 Snake-Eyes or ’83 Duke, our favourites were picked based purely on sculpt and not media appearances. To be honest, I only had one episode of the G.I. Joe cartoon on a very scratchy tape, and a handful of torn-up comics, so my grasp of G.I. Joe was purely from word of mouth on the playground and the character biogs on the backs of the packages. But I could extrapolate the tidbits of info in these two-paragraph dossiers into a full backstory if need be, and that was the fun of it really. I used  to have an imagination.

So who did my friends and I play with? Scratch that, we didn’t play. This was not playing. We now referred to it as ‘gaming’. But anyway, I digress. Who were our principle characters? My ex-cousin (long story) was an American and brought a figure from the States for me that I never saw released locally. He was a repainted figure used for the initial line of Sonic Fighters in 1990, and I think his colour scheme in this release was far superior to the original. It just looked more military I guess. The figure is none other than Law! And this figure was used by my pal, Al. Though for some reason he insisted that Law be renamed ‘M.P. Man’. I guess Al always took game time with a pinch of salt. But he loved causing mayhem with automatic weapons and grenades.

My other buddy, Rob, had a handful of Joes of his own and better than incurring my wrath over a broken or lost toy, he would stick with his own. This limited his selection even further and so I imagine his choice was motivated by nostalgia. He would typically take up his old friend, his ‘Sheriff Woody’ – 1989’s Scoop. Yeah, a communications expert. And one that came packaged with a camera. Not exactly the commando type. But therein lay the beauty of imagination. And with Scoop in tow we would always find room for a surveillance element to the mission. Rob had lost the included pistol some time ago, but he typically equipped Scoop with a replacement pistol for old time’s sake.

For me, It was a toss up at first. The figure to emerge from my childhood in the most pristine condition was 1986’s Mainframe. It stands to reason – he had no included weapon, just a computer and a communications backpack. But in the later years of toy collecting, his minty condition, speciality and the detail of his sculpt and paint job made him a premier figure. He was surpassed shortly afterwards by a figure who also was largely overlooked in my early, ‘Ninja Force’ days. But I distinctly remember my elder brother telling me way back then that ‘this guy looks cool’. I Didn’t think much of him though. He was blue and to a six-year old, that seemed like a silly colour for a soldier. Can you guess who yet? It’s Shockwave! A character who was re-released into the 25^th anniversary ahead of much more noteworthy characters simply because of the strength of the original’s sculpt. Yeah, that figure became my number one commando badass dude. And I loved that figure to death.

Old Comrades reunited: Shockwave, M.P. Man and Scoop... A.K.A Me, Al and Rob.

To answer my opening line of questioning, what do I do with my toys? I wish I could run around the garden and go bang-bang. I wish I could spin the dial back to a simpler time and play. Or game. But I need my friends. And that is a nigh-impossible task. Life so often intervenes. Al lives in another town, and in any case most likely has finally outgrown them. Rob and I often try, but never have enough time to really get some momentum. Typically all we have time for is to start a mission before we need to call it a night. And then it's a matter of weeks before we can reconvene. But hey, I love it. some of my happiest times come from mucking around with my Joes and Cobras. It leaves no carbon footprint, needs no television or computer, gas or electricity. Just imagination and a taste for adventure.

I am so ridiculous.

Some pics of my collection

That's a MISB Tomahawk, top left. Thank you.

Now you see why I need the space... Everything lives in it's box.

When I have the energy I'll try and take pics of Star Wars and... eventually the Joes.