WHALE versus Hammerhead

Killer WHALE

Cobra Hammerhead


It's on.

 In February 2006 (I think), the G.I. Joe Waterborne Hovercraft Assault Landing Experimental or WHALE came into my life. I bought it as a birthday prezzie for my pal Rob. It's always been a fan favourite, being released in 1984 (a really superb year for the line, and incidentally the year of my birth), and done up in a great scheme of 'Joe' green on a black plastic skirt. I loved this toy, but not being my own I longed for it as much. After five and a half years of Rob's WHALE exclusivity, I decided to get my own.

Normally I'd go into a discussion of the real-world purpose of the WHALE, but this page does it far better than I. Ah the joys of the interweb! The link does the work so well, that I'm going to rather write about a possible engagement between a WHALE and a Hammerhead.

Why those two, you ask? Well the likelihood of them facing each other is pretty great. WHALEs would typically be deployed in an amphibious assault scenarios and Hammerheads are deployed as coastal defenders. The linked article describes a possible mission scenario where a WHALE is used for a clandestine four-man team insertion. On this particular occasion a lone Hammerhead crew discovers the Joes.

Backed up into the treeline overlooking the beach, the Hammerhead sweeps the seas before it with its sensor array. Decimator peers out at the endless blue with his image intensifiers, alternating between night vision and thermal imaging. Two miles out to sea, Cutter, G.I. Joe sailor and skipper of the WHALE performs a similar task from his command station. The hovercraft is in possession of a range of noise-reducing wizardry making it uncharacteristically quiet. They had made good time covering the 90 miles from the Joe mothership, the USS Flagg. The next phase was critical. The craft had to navigate a shallow river leading inland where it was to deliver its cargo. Having spotted the river mouth, Cutter sets a course correction for his first mate, Topside, who swings the nose of the vessel to starboard and opens the throttle. In the guntubs Rampart and Deep Six begin sweeping their sectors of fire even more vigilantly than before.

As the WHALE veers right and races towards the river mouth, Decimator catches a glimpse of the warm speck of the WHALE's hot engine block. To protect the secret of his ward, he has standing orders to prevent any unauthorized landings with deadly force. He wastes no time, briefing his crew that they were going weapons hot and engaging any confirmed target. The trouble was that the target was too small and too quick for a missile lock. Even the sophisticated ordinance of the Hammerhead needed a stronger target than the WHALE was providing, so the order is given to start up the engines and pursue. The Hammerhead springs to life and tears off onto the white sand, reaching a top speed of 40 miles per hour. Decimator swings his command pod to track the WHALE as both vehicles began to close on each other. With less than a mile between them, Decimator satisfies himself that they are indeed tracking a small vessel and fires off one of his surface-to-surface missiles. The missile tracks well, arcing upwards and coming down onto its target, but undershoots, striking the water behind the nimble hovercraft. Witness to the flash of the missile launch, the WHALE's four .50 deck guns clatter into life, spitting glowing tracer fire onto the shoreline. At the wheel of the Hammerhead, the Eel driver whips the vehicle left, ramping it over a dune and putting a wall of sand between it and the incoming fire. By this time, Topside swings the nose of the WHALE towards the shore and begins shelling with the dual 40mm cannons. With shells exploding mere metres away from the Hammerhead, Decimator orders that they escape inland and head for the river in order to deploy their arsenal of attack craft.

What happens next? You tell me. Come on. Comment. I dare ya.