1988

I recently bid for (and won) a loose Rolling Thunder from 1988. You will no doubt be seeing an in-depth review soon after it arrives. It occurs to me that the year 1988 is significant as it was my jump-on point for collecting. So many of my initial G.I. Joe figures were from '88, and among them some of the enduring favourites such as Hit & Run, Shockwave and Hydro-Viper. The vehicles of this year also ingrained themselves as all-time favourites for a host of reasons. The Warthog entered my life shortly after my 8th birthday and it became my premier Joe armour. It saw so much use as a personnel carrier. I always loved the idea of a vehicle with a cavernous interior space where grizzled, war-weary Joes sat in cramped quarters, preparing themselves for a brutal land assault. It also seemed to be a vehicle that could easily fit in with a more realistic (therefore vintage) G.I. Joe motorpool, something that I appreciate as an adult collector with a love for the old-skool, olive drab aesthetic. Shortly after the Warthog, the BUGG arrived as a Christmas gift from ma and pa. Outlandish but definitively Cobra, this vehicle was great fun and is a treasure trove of memories for me.

Flash forward many years and I am cruising a flea market at Sunrise Beach, False Bay and I find a Skystorm attack helicopter mint in box! That alone adds a stamp of coolness to a vehicle and despite being maligned by a few (Mark Bellomo for example) I love this chopper. I have a great deal of fun and use for a small, sleek attack chopper that can turn on the juice with a jet engine. Such fun flying that craft about. Also quite late in the game, Christmas 2009 to be exact, I got a pair of Desert Fox's. I think as a standard G.I. Joe jeep, this puppy blows away the Vamp and Awe Striker. I don't even mind the flesh tone colouring, though I am eternally grateful that my buddy Paul airbrushed and excellent and very detailed matt green coat on one of mine.

This time last year I got my hands on a Phantom X-19 and what a beaut that is. The last of the good vintage jets, large, long and with an intricate working landing gear mechanism (well, mine kind of needs a bit of help, but it's an impressive design nevertheless). I think it's my fave Joe jet, as it turns out.

If the Rolling Thunder proves to be a winner (and I will be critical) then 1988 could well be my favourite G.I. Joe year. So hurry up and arrive! Getting big boxes from the post office is like, a reason to live.

PART 2

So Hasbro learned the hard lesson that nothing they did was going to surpass their original run of ARAH product. So they moved into a bigger scale. Not quite Marvel Legends stature, but certainly more of a Superhero figure scale than Real American Hero. They were big and had an anime style to them. When I say that, I mean the figures didn't emulate realistic physiques and musculature like the ARAH Joes. They were stylised with angular features and tapered waistlines. This translated well in the accompanying cartoon and allowed the cartoon to ride the western/anime popularity wave established by shows like Dragonball Z and Pokemon.

The figures weren't bad. They came with interesting, unique accessories, [most of them] had unique molds and gimmicks. They were just big. Too big to be accommodated by what I deem to be the selling point of ARAH - the vehicles. If you haven't gathered by now, I am a huge fan of the vehicles. If you were to ask me what my favourite G.I. Joe toy is, I wouldn't put a figure on my top ten. Probably not even on my top twenty. And I'm not alone, this formed the subject of an internet poll that I stumbled onto. They eventually had to announced an additional, separate poll for the figures, as the vehicles were getting all the votes.

So what do you do when your scaling doesn't allow for a range of vehicles? Well I don't really know what you should do... But Sigma 6 remedied this by releasing a subscale. A set of vehicles scaled to a 2 inch line of figures.

I bemoan a scaling split. I just can't get my head around it. Do you play out your adventure with the big figures and when you call in some Dragonhawk air support, you switch down a scale? Unsatisfactory, especially for someone who knows better, someone who remembers an articulated soldier toy that could climb into a helicopter or tank or headquarters and look like he belonged.

And that my friends is why Sigma 6 had to die.

A Real American Hero... New Sculpt... Sigma 6... Modern Era... PART 1

What do you consider to be real G.I. Joe? I omitted the 12 inch figures from the title. They are what started it all, and for all I know may be 'realest' Joes ever produced. But I've never owned one; their history is beyond my ken; and therefore beyond the scope of my blog.

I'm trying to sift through it all in my head.  My room is swimming in ARAH and modern era Joes. I try and make the nu-skool guys work with the old-skool vehicles and it is unfulfilling. I can't deny that the modern era Joes have become the epitome of the Joe line, taking a figure design that remained largely unchanged for 25 years and improving on it. It's not without a few major and minor gripes though.

The major gripe I have is sadly not something that will be improved as it is totally dependent on the financial climate. New parts and sculpts are emerging all the time, but sadly they are intended for a handful of popular characters. While we are getting our fan-requested figures, nichey figures made, sadly they often get total franken-Joe treatment. My favourite example of parts reuse must be Hit & Run from the Assault on Cobra Island 7 Pack. Nothing new on that figure. Not even the head.

When we consider that vintage ARAH Joes were each uniquely sculpted (notwithstanding subsequent re-releases) it's clear that Hasbro had a great deal more $ to splash around.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is this - Joes who became fan favourites by virtue of having a sweet original sculpt and not because of their media exposure are relegated to the franken-Joe treatment. Characters who pop up in every rendition of Joe (Cobra Commander, Duke, Snake-Eyes) get all the new parts. While this makes economic sense, sadly those nichy characters who we loved because the were sweet figures now aren't even that. I'm referring to guys like Shockwave, Hit & Run, Tunnel Rat. My favourite vintage sculpt, Falcon has become a Frankenjoe so hideous I don't want to hit yojoe.com to take a quick reference squizz at the 25th Anniversary fig. What a shame. Even having Don Johnson do your voice can't save a 2nd tier, Flint look-alike.

It is with enormous pleasure that I announce three upcoming exceptions. The 30th anniversary figures of Airtight, Lifeline and Sci-Fi look incredible. New parts allowing design accuracy instead of approximation, even when the characters themselves are pretty obscure and largely left alone by current Joe media.

I just looked at Falcon. Looks like a Joe from the post-ARAH, new-sculpt era. Bad.

Getting back to the topic at hand. The road to the 25th Anniversary Joes was not always a clear one. When ARAH disappeared and reappeared and then disappeared, all Hasbro was doing was re-releasing old toys. Enter the New Sculpt. With a new comic title from Devil's Due Publishing, new Joe figures started hitting shelves. At first they were without elastic 'O' rings - the rubber band that holds a vintage Joe together and allows the figure to move at the waist along multiple planes instead of simply side to side. These figures also had the dreaded 'T' crotches that only allowed the legs to rotate forward along the same plane. The figures were also made of a softer, more durable plastic. This saved the new figs from the typical breakages that plagued ARAH like broken thumbs, crotches and elbow cracks. The 'T' crotch joint was a step backwards though, and made the new sculpt Joes slide into Star Wars figurine territory. Bad move. Mercifully they then moved into a hybrid design, reincorporating the 'O' ring, but retaining the soft plastic. After the initial excitement of new toys had died down, it became apparent these figures were horrible. Bad proportions, boring and sloppy paint applications, and, for a few, dreaded action features.

Hasbro had tried to better their original products and failed. I'm sure it showed in their sales. I quickly switched from buying New Sculpt toys back to buying the vintage figures on Ebay. Interestingly enough, towards the end of the New Sculpt line, Hasbro acknowledged this failing of their product and began re-releasing vintage figures cast in the flexible plastic and really going in for the kill with hit sets like the Viper six-packs, and comic packs with more comic accurate, new head sculpts.

But their attempt at putting out a new product was a failure. So how do you re-do Joe without being judged by the insurmountable standard of everything you have done before? Well, you switch scales!

And Sigma Six was born.

Hammerhead

How awesome would it be if I put a gas engine in this puppy? Very.

Not even two years after the Bugg saw release, Hasbro cooked up another amphibious craft with overlapping abilities. What does it do better than it's predecessor? What does it do worse? Which would I prefer to be behind the controls of? Read on, dear friends.

"Cobra Island is surrounded by open beaches which are at the very least, hostile environments for tanks of any sort. The Hammerhead was specifically developed to function in shallow coastal waters, sand and scrub vegetation. Sacrificing heavy armour protection for speed and agility, the Hammerhead requires a driver with lightning fast reflexes and exceptional peripheral vision"

-courtesy of the 'Decimator' filecard, which then segues nicely into a description of ol' Decimator and his spiffy helmet, which incidentally resembles a Hammerhead shark's head. On a side note, I like the fact that the filecard is very hardware-orientated. Vehicle operators in the Joe line were always 3rd or 4th tier characters. Few people would list a vehicle driver as one of their top fives, except perhaps Wild Bill. As a result, I would far prefer their filecards to have maximum content on the vehicle, and less on the driver's personality. Hasbro finally gave us both with their run of 25th anniversary vehicle re-issues, which had a filecard for both the driver and the vehicle. But if I had to choose, I'd take info about the vehicle over info about the guy behind the wheel and how he held a record for traffic fines or a penchant for being lucky. Wank.

So like the Bugg, the Hammerhead's primary occupation is to maintain security around Cobra Island's coast. Like the Bugg, it can deploy scout craft to help it facilitate this function. But while the Bugg had a two man pod that detached and two jetskis that could be pulled out of storage, the Hammerhead can deploy five smaller watercraft, one of which apparently can also fly. That gimmick is getting old, fast.

So the Hammerhead drives out of its holding area, hits the surf, submerges and then launches two 'sea net penetrating, low noise attack sub[s]', two 'surface skimming, diversionary sea sled scout craft' and one 'airborne/undersea command module with pivoting radar unit'. These craft essentially split the Hammerhead six ways (five detachable craft and the remaining wheeled-vehicle) and thereby increase the amount of coast any one Hammerhead can police. But they are not without a few drawbacks. The Hammerhead has to drive into the surf to deploy them, unless all of them can 'fly' from the beach into the water. How then does the Hammerhead wheeled vehicle return to the beach? The only propulsion I could detect on the craft was in the form of the attack subs mounted on either side. Once they go, does the Hammerhead 'drive' along the sea floor back to shore? Does it sit there and wait? Does it emerge and the pilot deploy an outboard? Or row? 

Having everything then re-attach is also problematic and probably time consuming as vehicles jostle into very specific places in varying and often difficult visibilities underwater. 

What are the pro's of this badboy? Big tyres with high clearance. Great fun for skidding around on a sandy beach.

It carries a decent amount of ordinance, even if they are all small and lumo green. It dawned on me that I've had this vehicle in my collection for almost 20 years and not lost a single one of her 22 projectiles. So don't knock the colour choice! 14 torpedoes spread over the detachable vehicle fleet, two surface to surface missiles mounted on the white subs in spring-loaded launchers and four missiles that are held in an elevating  housing beneath the black command sub. I like to think of those as surface to air missiles, giving the Hammerhead a bit more bite. Also, if they can be launched from a submerged position, the Hammerhead would have a very effective element of surprise over attacking aircraft.

The weapons that puzzle me are the two 'twin bow laser cannons'. They are fixed zero degrees forward but can pivot up and down. So the driver can pick off targets above or below the bow, but only when they are directly in the path of the vehicle. Rather limited use there.

The hull of the wheeled vehicle is grey and has flares in front that emulate a hammerhead shark. It serves no purpose I can think of but it does give the vehicle a unique look. I do like width it gives the craft, which then flows into the subs. The Cobra sigils on the hull and detachable craft have a hammerhead shark swimming through it, which is a nifty tradition I'm glad the Hammerhead continues. I wished the Bugg had a similar gimmick. The Hammerhead also can deploy a diver or pick one up using a decompression chamber located aft of the missile silo. It's pretty cramped but can adequately hold one man standing. I wish the cavity was expanded on, as there is a little more space aft of the chamber which I can only imagine is unused. It would be nice if the diver could access this area. It even has molded hatches, but they a) go nowhere; and b) are the wrong way around. The small maintenance hatch leads aft. And a large, man-sized door leads to the missile silo. Boo.

The glass canopies are lumo green, which I think has a nice aesthetic contrast with the subdued greys, blacks and off-whites and all of the driver positions on all the vehicles have good visibility (for fantastical Cobra vehicles) certainly better than the Bugg. And the Decimator driver's helmet makes full use of the bubble canopies. It gives the wearer a 180 degree view at all times in almost complete darkness. This allows the Decimator to keep his eyes on a target at all times while speeding around on the beach. Too bad his guns can't be aimed at anything on the Hammerhead's flanks.

So which is the preferred vehicle? Bugg or Hammerhead? Both have nostalgia factors in their favour. For the Hammerhead, I was fortunate enough to be let loose on Hamley's toyshop in London at the age of eight and grabbed the biggest box I could throw my eight year old arms around. The flight from London to Cape Town was spent constructing the various craft and I was loving it. As soon as I got home, my best mate stopped over, we finished off the decal placement and his envy was apparent. I remember it was raining that day. So I have no historical bias. But I'd have to go with the Bugg. I don't like the fact that the Hammerhead is just a massive collection of smaller vehicles. I acknowledge the fun - I acknowledged it all my youth as they all swooped through the skies as aircraft. But the split apart feature hurts the remainder's weaponry and its function (how does it move through the water without the subs?). The individual vehicles are rather cheapish shells with few parts and not a great deal going for them, I have difficulty accepting how they dock with the main vehicle, the laser cannons on the main vehicle have no rotation to engage anything other than targets in front...

But it's helluva lot more fun to race along the beach. I do love those big six wheels. Just make sure you deploy the subs first, or some tight turns will shake 'em loose. 

Muizenberg beach on a Sunday

Apart from riding some lekker waves and going for a run with my old man, I dragged my Hammerhead out for some maneuvers. Article to follow. 

Bugg

Okay, time to take a look at a piece that some may regard as obscure, but certainly less than the Sea Ray I looked at a little time ago. And it's one of my buddy's faves, so Paul, this one's for you.

Pack shot with the European box. Bought this baby at a CNA in '93. R199.98.

Yes, the Cobra Bugg. Mr Ultimate Guide, Mark Bellomo says on page 119 of his initial Joe book that '[t]he Cobra Bugg is a fascinating vehicle, and one of my favorite Cobra toys.' It appears you are not alone, Paul.

I've seen it said of this vehicle (and I'm quoting from memory as these reviews can no longer be found on the 'net for love or money) 'The Bugg looks like something half finished and facing the wrong direction.' This statement has some truth. When I first started putting mine together (yes kids, vehicles used to be sold unassembled) I thought the front was the back and vice versa. But I was eight years-old and I was building in the dark at five am on Christmas morning, some slack, please. I was also discovered and told to go back to sleep which was impossible at that point. I had been fantasizing about this vehicle all week leading up to the big day. And having now even put a bit of it together, there was no chance in hell I was going to crack a few more hours of sleep. But  after an agonising wait, I was able to complete my Bugg construction and apply the decals (which I got almost right but I refuse to correct them out of nostalgia.)

So, now that you've indulged me on my trip down memory lane, lets talk about the Bugg. What the hell is it? Why is it called 'Bugg'? What is up with the colour scheme?

• The hard sell on the box proclaims that '[t]he swamp around Cobra Island heats up with battle action as the Cobra Bugg repels a G.I. Joe commando raid!'.
• The pilot, Secto Viper's filecard tells us that they are experts in amphibious operations, marine surveillance, shoreline topology and the strengths and weaknesses of all other amphibious landing craft currently used by the armed forces of the world. 

 So it's an amphibious craft, designed for the defence of Cobra Island from amphibious landing and assault. And for this purpose it is quite adequately designed and armed. I assume it's typical operation would be to drive around patrolling the beach or get sneaky by ducking under the surf. It would also be able to operate in shallower, landward waters like rivers and lakes. It can operate like a submarine to a degree thanks to its two gas turbine underwater propulsion units which drive it though the water at a decent pace. One can only assume that they are responsible for steering the craft by applying thrust on the right turbine for a left turn and vice versa. Descent and ascent are handled by the air tank purge ventilators on the hull behind the turbines. 

It is armed with a total of no less than eight .50 calibre machine guns - two single guns on top of the bow, a double gun atop the stern and two double guns underneath the bow. Between them, the craft has excellent coverage of all angles of fire, though I have some question about how they are coordinated which I will get to later. It carries two 'Strike' VT-60 torpedoes and four 'Forked-Tongue' surface-to-air missiles, though the European box confuses the two. I'm gonna go with the blueprints. The Bugg houses two jet-skis beneath the central yellow hatches and those have a pair of projectiles each that are ignored by the box and blueprints. I used to think they were rockets, but given the proximity to the water, I'm going to change my answer to torpedoes. I don't think it likely a rocket would fly straight and true through choppy seas.

Turbine nacelle with a torpedo on the bottom, SAM on side and an Eel on top. Deadly. Suicidal. Cobra! Purge valve is likely behind the slats below the yellow hatch. 

Door mounted SAMs, the hatch storage for the jet/hoverski, and an Eel  riding the other one.

So it's armed to attack ships, landing craft, infantry and even aircraft from a shore or waterborne position. As a surveillance craft it also has a few options. It has a detachable 'hovercraft/submarine pod' which is depicted as being able to fly in the commercial, though I can't figure out how. I guess like the Trubble Bubble, it's best to just accept that it can. More fun that way. And if it was just a submersible its only armament -the dual 'short-throw' .50 calibre machine guns, would have zero use.

Secto Viper. A bootlicking shit who scores points with superiors by busting Cobra personnel who hang out and tan on the beach. And also a sharp dresser with a distinct bumblebee theme and a... goldfish bowl helmet.

Wheeee!

The jetskis would also be able to increase the area being surveilled, but not by much as I doubt they have a great deal of range. Also they are rather small and would topple easily in rougher seas. They too however have been depicted on the box and European catalogue picture as being able to hover on land, so maybe they hover over the surface of the water like Marty's hoverboard in Back To The Future Part II. Interesting to note that a figure can wear the jetski like a backpack, perhaps it was designed to be submersible and power a diver through the water? One may also reason it is like a jetpack, if so, this is one fantastically multi-purpose piece, and also a strain on plausibility.

Most opinions of the Bugg I have encountered find the colour choice odd. I my opinion it works. Neon yellow is an odd choice for a jet intake (see the Phantom X-19, also released in 1988), but for a submersible it works. I think of those expeditionary civilian subs, all decked out in a bright yellow, which also have bulbous canopies for optimal vision. While it might not be the wisest choice for concealment, I doubt there are many who could get the jump on a Bugg given it's abilities. You'd have to be airborne with very good daylight visibility to see a submerged Bugg in the first place. And if you can see a Bugg from the sky in good vis, you better believe the guy sitting in weapons control can see you and is tracking you with a 'Forked Tongue' SAM. Tickets. Also, this is Cobra. There is something undeniably ostentatious about their vehicle designs and colourings. Purple helicopters, white battle armour, ...Trubble Bubbles, need I say more? Armies of the world are sensible and drab, Cobra craft are decked out like First World War fighter aces.

Now for a few criticisms... Starting with something that confuses me. The dual .50 in the rear is clearly operated by the guy standing in the turret. The guns at the bottom of the detachable hovercraft/submarine pod are controlled by the pod co-pilot. One can assume the driver controls the other lower dual guns. Who coordinates the two single top turrets? If it's the guy in the turret, he has some serious blindspots to deal with, including zero degrees forward. Perhaps target acquisition is handled by a central computer that can recognise friend or foe. One can only assume this is the case as to share control of these weapons with the guys up front with the better view can't be a good idea. Sharing who gets to control a big gun is never a good idea. So one guy controls the linked and independent operation of three weapons. Stress!

Next, the SAMs. They are all oriented facing zero forward, which would be fine if this were a fighter jet and could line up the shot along the target's six o'clock. But she is a terrestrial craft, and these missiles need elevation to fire effectively. Maybe I'll mod my Bugg to do this someday. I assume you can launch the missiles from a submerged position, akin to submarine launched ballistic missiles. I do wish she had more than two torpedoes, but if you deploy a Bugg and Hammerhead together, the Hammerhead will have that covered with her 14 (!) torpedoes. Even better when you bring some amphibious air support in the form of the Sea Ray along for the ride.

The Bugg is an amphibious assault craft, but it would have so easily been converted to an amphibious personnel carrier. I really could have done away with the jetski/hoverski/jetpack things. After all, they are basically single stamp, two pieces of maroon plastic and feel a bit cheap. Four troops could have easily occupied that space, and when combined with the two men in the back behind the gunner, you have the same troop compliment as a Warthog but with far more firepower. Sad missed opportunity there.

The troop compliment of the Bugg. In the background: the hardest working weapon control officer  in the Cobra navy.

The front bottom guns at first always seemed odd and useless to me. But the more I think about it, the more I like the idea that the driver and the folks in the detachable sub to be able to squirt some rounds off at closer targets. Even if you hit the dirt, the Bugg will weed you out of cover. The problem is that they reduce the clearance of the Bugg hopelessly so that they snag on anything but the most level terrain. Those weapons would become jammed immediately and would require constant maintenance. In all areas I prefer this toy to the Hammerhead, except in this regard. The Hammerhead has excellent clearance with big tyres that love bumps and jumps; the Bugg will bury its low-slung nose in the smallest sand dune.

Yeah, better stay on the road with that kind of clearance. And keep it under 20km/h. Absurd.

 Last question to answer and then I can take some pictures: why is it called Bugg. Oops, I mean BUGG, tho it's not an acronym for anything, actually. The cool feature of vehicle-specific Cobra sigil designs is absent here. But one doesn't have to look too hard to see the bug imagery. The sloped back end resembles a bug's sloped carapace, folded over the abdomen. Egh, whatever, it's late, I've had a hell of a day, I'm gonna go and mess with my Bugg. Later.

Flagg By Night

If you own or have scrutinized pictures of the U.S.S Flagg, you may realise that it  doesn't have much of a hull. Using my limited carpentry skills I shaped a wooden board to match the hull, raised the hull on wooden 'walls', painted it and put the whole thing on trolley wheels. I cut some doorways into the walls and painted it all grey. Last move was to put some LEDs into the new chambers and the island to give light in otherwise impossibly dark sections. I give you some pics on the result. Big thanks to my buddy Al for his help with wiring it up. I am pretty rubbish and he got it done in one attempt where I would have probably taken five and a few grey hairs.

The Island. The chambers with computers are well lit. The arb chambers, not so much

The bridge with Cutter and Keel Haul. So far only one of the LED lights have died. And  I'm open to suggestions on how  to mask that wire...

Long Range on weapons' control

Briefing center with Hawk, Wild Bill, Beach Head, Low Light, Sci-Fi, Leatherneck, Airborne, Windmill, Countdown, Ace and Lift Ticket. An explanation for that combo of personnel wins a prize!  

Enlisted personnel quarters

Amphibious vehicle bay with SHARCs and Warthog

Skystorm (a personal favourite) in maintenance bay